I haven’t been posting much lately because I’ve been focused on my book about narcissism, plus I just completed another article for The Atlantic, which you can find here. It’s about bullying as a kind of narcissistic behavior, linking the Richie Incognito story with the suicide of Rebecca Sedgwick and further thoughts on Lance Armstrong. […]
During several recent sessions, one of my clients has been struggling to make an important decision in her life that’s causing her considerable anguish — whether or not to leave her husband. I don’t normally give advice in such cases, but based on my lengthy relationship with this client, I strongly believe that she ought
Lying to Our Clients Read More »
Reading about Adam Lanza, the Newtown shooter, in today’s New York Times brought to mind Anders Behring Breivik, the Norwegian mass murderer who set off bombs and murdered at least 76 people back in 2011. These two men have several features in common, including social isolation, a fascination with Call of Duty (a war-oriented video
How Feelings of Helplessness May Give Rise to Destructive Violence Read More »
It’s no secret that most people make and then break their New Year’s resolutions, and there’s plenty of Internet advice available on how to avoid such a disappointment: start small, make a detailed step-by-step plan, surround yourself with positive re-enforcement, etc. These are worthy suggestions, though they ignore the unconscious reasons why we often fail
How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions Read More »
During one recent session with a new client, he wondered aloud if I would respect his fairly conservative religious beliefs or seek to impose my (presumably) more liberal values. A day or so later, one of my long-time readers sent me an email asking how I deal with issues of faith in psychotherapy. It felt
Religion and Psychotherapy Read More »
Several readers responding to my recent post about a client who felt invisible have asked me to discuss the opposite experience — the person who fears being seen and desperately wants to remain invisible. It’s a very different issue, with roots in profound shame.
The Client Who Wants to Remain Invisible Read More »
When an anti-Islamic loner explodes a bomb outside a government building, killing eight people, then travels to a nearby island where he guns down 69 more, we naturally view that man as a dangerous lunatic. His paranoid tirades against multi-culturalism and “Eurabia”, along with his grandiose view of himself as crusading member of the fictional
Anders Breivik, You and Me: What We Have in Common Read More »
The upcoming revision to the APA’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual will purportedly eliminate Asperger’s Syndrome as a diagnosis, once again calling into question the scientific precision and validity of psychological diagnosis.
Autism Symptoms Get a Second Look Read More »
Mindfulness meditation techniques are a useful adjunct to psychotherapy, allowing you to see your defense mechanisms in action and to disengage from them, rather than a replacement for it.
Anxiety Symptoms, Mindfulness and the Enlargement of the Self Read More »
Reaction formation, like all defense mechanisms, is an unconscious process. People with conscious but secret desires they publicly denounce in others are not resorting to reaction formation; they are hypocrites.
Defense Mechanisms VII: Reaction Formation (Not to be Confused with Hypocrisy) Read More »