Narcissism, blaming and contempt — the three core defenses against shame — are illustrated with clinical material from the author’s psychotherapy practice.
The Pleasures of Solitude
Pleasure in solitude — the enjoyment of one’s own company — is one of the compensations for the existential loneliness of the human condition.
Envy and Jealousy
A discussion of envy and how the envious person wishes to spoil or destroy the object of envy. This article includes a clinical example from one psychotherapy case, as well as a personal example of envious behavior from the author.
Merger Fantasies in Psychotherapy
Bipolar and borderline clients who feel hopeless about their capacity for meaningful change often idealize their therapists and unconsciously try to merge with them; this fantasy of merger represents an escape from the damaged self into an alternative ideal self embodied by the therapist, a sort of personal growth by annexation.
Narcissism vs. Authentic Self-Esteem
Authentic self-esteem is not something that can be obtained through outside sources such as praise or compliments but rather grows from living up to our own standards and expectations so that we feel ourselves to be a person we esteem.