I’m just about ready to deliver a draft of my book on defenses to the other members of my writer’s group; as part of the final revisions, I’ve been attempting to clarify my ideas about shame as they’re so central to the work I do; the text below is adapted from a chapter about defenses… Continue reading What I Mean When I Use the Word Shame
Listening to Pain
Early in my practice, a client said something that has stuck with me for the last 30 years. A trained dancer, she told me she avoided taking pain relievers because, in her view, pain was her body’s way of providing important information to her and she needed to “listen”. Although you’ll sometimes hear medical and… Continue reading Listening to Pain
Bearing Witness and Being Seen
Many features of the psychotherapy relationship contribute to growth and psychological “healing” to the extent it is possible. In an earlier post about attachment theory, I discussed the importance of the emotional bond between client and therapist for development, especially the therapist’s ability to empathize with and ultimately feel genuine affection for his or her… Continue reading Bearing Witness and Being Seen
A Call for Participants
[UPDATE: I’VE DECIDED TO ELIMINATE THE SKYPE PORTION OF THIS PROJECT: ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE, BUT IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU’D LIKE TO SCHEDULE A SESSION AT ANY POINT TO DISCUSS YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH THE ASSIGNMENTS, I’LL BE AVAILABLE. WE NOW HAVE A FIRM BEGINNING DATE OF FEBRUARY 1, 2013.] Now that I’ve nearly finished my… Continue reading A Call for Participants
‘Hard’ and ‘Soft’ as Character Traits
I haven’t written a post in two weeks — unusual for me — because during that period, I have felt almost overwhelmed by the events in my life, mostly enjoyable and of great meaning to me: my oldest son’s 21st birthday, my middle child’s high school graduation, my daughter’s promotion from middle school, two flights… Continue reading ‘Hard’ and ‘Soft’ as Character Traits